{
    "data": [
        "Dear Central Command, it has come to my attention that Ian has developed a highly contagious form of airborne cancer. Furthermore, we have several space dragon and blob hydrids that may actually be the source of the cancer. Lastly, we have an outbreak of \"grey goo\" nanomachines that are repurposing the station as more nanomachines. I, Limewire, the onboard AI Overmind am requesting immediate evacuation and possible decontamination for all crew aboard the station.\n\nSexily yours, Limewire.",
        "Mime for HOP! Mime for HOP! Come and stop me, captain",
        "Yea things are not going to imrove.\nThe pirates crashed their ship and died.\nThe station is unsafe.\nTime to get the fuck out of Dodge.",
        "We are leaving.\nIt's been voted on.\nThe pirates crashed into the insurance scam.\nThe tiders are now busy killing one another.\nApparently heresy exists.\nLet's go home!"
    ],
    "parser": null,
    "id": 12370732,
    "datetime": {
        "date": "2026-07-29 01:51:07.000000",
        "timezone_type": 3,
        "timezone": "UTC"
    },
    "round": 263237,
    "key": "shuttle_reason",
    "type": "text",
    "version": 1,
    "json": "{\"data\":[\"Dear Central Command, it has come to my attention that Ian has developed a highly contagious form of airborne cancer. Furthermore, we have several space dragon and blob hydrids that may actually be the source of the cancer. Lastly, we have an outbreak of \\\"grey goo\\\" nanomachines that are repurposing the station as more nanomachines. I, Limewire, the onboard AI Overmind am requesting immediate evacuation and possible decontamination for all crew aboard the station.\\n\\nSexily yours, Limewire.\",\"Mime for HOP! Mime for HOP! Come and stop me, captain\",\"Yea things are not going to imrove.\\nThe pirates crashed their ship and died.\\nThe station is unsafe.\\nTime to get the fuck out of Dodge.\",\"We are leaving.\\nIt's been voted on.\\nThe pirates crashed into the insurance scam.\\nThe tiders are now busy killing one another.\\nApparently heresy exists.\\nLet's go home!\"]}",
    "originalUrl": null
}