{
    "data": [
        "Frankly, I'm pretty confused about all this almost-harm and I'd like to outsource these interpretations to a central command station.",
        "Things just... arent working, I guess. I dunno. I got promoted from janitor, so... yeah. Shit happens."
    ],
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    "datetime": {
        "date": "2017-09-08 06:43:18.000000",
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